A major backslide

I didn't blog last night (Friday night) because things got pretty chaotic. Basically Emma couldn't take her 9:00 bottle, and her breathing has gotten worse. She's choking A LOT more, and they had to start her back on her IV fluids instead of taking a bottle. The ironic thing is that they took the PICC out of her leg Friday morning...and then had to put an IV in her head Friday night.

We are waiting to see how she does in the meantime. This is so incredibly painful, and I'm on a roller coaster of emotions. The mornings are usually the hardest times for me. It's so hard to wake up and face a whole day knowing that our daughter is fighting for her life. I immediately start the day praying that God would be merciful. This is all I can pray for now...because I don't even know what, specifically, to pray for. But His mercy on her is all she needs.

In the meantime, I'm trying my best to enjoy each moment and not look ahead...because we don't know what lies ahead. As I've said, she is moving her legs like a champ. So we're enjoying changing her diaper because she's hilarious kicking her legs around. And she is VIOLENT with those kicks. She makes it so difficult to put a diaper back on, but we love her for it. I so enjoyed sitting next to her today while she napped - I lowered the side of the crib and laid my head on a small pillow on the edge of the crib. It was the perfect position for me to gaze at her long eyelashes and perfectly pouty mouth; she held my pinkie finger for an hour.

Before my sister went back to Louisiana, she bought Emma a precious doll in the gift shop. I realize this is a typical hospital/gift shop gimic, but it's adorable. You squeeze it, and it says a prayer. I swear they actually recorded a child saying the prayer (or a variation of it) that so many of us grew up praying:
Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
May angels watch me through the night,
and keep me in their blessed sight. Amen.

Here's a picture of Emma snuggling with her buddy. She was gazing at it saying the prayer, and I caught this picture right as she fell sleep.



Oh, and the weird-looking hospital blanket in front of her face is actually a handy contraption to keep her binky in her mouth. The blanket is rolled up and taped together, and the binky is taped to it. You put it next to her so she can snuggle with it, and she doesn't really spit the binky out. It's her binky buddy.