The delicate balance

Working mothers: do you ever have those days when you are 100% certain that God never intended for mothers to work or working women to have kids?  I have been oh so carefully trying to balance friendships, a social life (both with and without Emma), family time, health, sanity, sleep, WORK, church and its associated obligations (yes, I said it: obligations.  Today they are obligations.), Emma's appointments, errands, the bug man, the gutter cleaner, a needy dog with a UTI, Medicaid and health insurance, and a house clean and decluttered enough to make me actually want to live in it.  And would you believe that the only reward I get for trying to balance these things is insanity (temporary, I hope)?

I just cannot go into all the things that have filled our lives over the past week since I last blogged, but I will try to give you the quick and dirty.  Emma loves to army crawl and whimpers to be put on the floor.  She had her first VitalStim therapy on Monday, and it went as well as could be expected considering she's supposed to eat for the whole 45 minutes while 4 electrodes feel like they're tugging on her throat muscles.  But that therapy has come to a screeching halt after only one treatment, thanks to Medicaid, Nikki Haley, and Tony Keck.  Emma's speech therapist is working on getting it started again, but it will be another at week at least.  Which is a problem because the subsequent therapy is supposed to be done within 2 to 3 days of the last one.

Mother's Day was good, but a little bittersweet for me because I just kept remembering that Emma was home from the hospital last Mother's Day.  Little did we know that she was about to go back into the hospital for the some of the worst news a parent could receive.  I spent last Mother's Day happy and oblivious; this Mother's Day was happy and hopeful.  With a dash of desperation.

Today I have been a little sad because it was this day last year that Emma started wheezing and we took her to the pediatrician, who sent us to the hospital.  It was round about 7:00 pm at the hospital that Emma's eyes rolled back in her head and she turned blue in my arms.  God was good to us, though, because she was in a hospital room surrounded by nurses when it happened.  See the happy events leading up to this sad day below:

May 5, 2010

May 7, 2010

May 9, 2010

May 10, 2010

PS - Sorry for such a downer blog, especially because I know there are people out there who have it much worse than I do.  Tomorrow, tomorrow will be better.