Let me be honest

I cleaned out my email inbox today.  Those efforts primarily focused on reading and deleting the emails I receive from a spina bifida moms message board.  It's quite possibly one of the best sources of information I have ever encountered.  And sometimes, the saddest.  These moms deal with so many things that we don't...and we deal with so many things that they don't.  They have made me thankful for the wonderful doctors we have here; Emma hasn't had shunt malfunctions, revisions, infections, etc like so many other kids.  We have perceptive doctors, nurses, and therapists who pick up on things that others of the same profession in different places do not.  We live 15 minutes or less from emergency rooms, therapists, pediatricians, a neurosurgeon, the Shriner's Hospital, and a children's hospital.  There are some moms who have to drive 15 minutes just to get to a paved road.  We on this message board are consumed by our children's problems - learning delays, learning disabilities, poor eyesight, poor hand-eye coordination, low self-esteem, borderline obesity simply due to the lack of being able to move, shunt infections, shunt revisions, Chiari decompressions, tracheostomies, feeding tubes, ventilators, gag reflexes, sleep apnea, oxygen desaturations, spinal fluid cysts, spinal cord tethering, detethering surgery, scoliosis, catheterizing, bladder infections, kidney reflux, low bladder pressure, enemas, constipation, club feet, underdeveloped ankles and feet, broken legs and ankles, tendon release surgeries.  Insurance premiums, non-coverage, Medicaid cuts. And this doesn't cover it all.

So I have days when I have VERY little tolerance for the complaints of others.  Not because I feel I have the ultimate right to complain because of Emma's disability, but because I read about other agonies that are much worse than ours.

--  The next time you complain about how busy your job is, consider the mothers who have been forced to quit their jobs, lose their insurance, downsize their home, and rely on state-run group transportation for handicapped individuals, just so that someone can take care of their special needs child.

--  The next time your ONE child leaves you exhausted at the end of the day, consider the mothers and fathers raising twins...both with a disability.

--  The next time you agonize unnecessarily over getting pregnant, consider the family who learns that their second child is ALSO going to be born with a disability.

--  The next time you complain about your children growing out of their clothes so fast, consider the mother who cannot just purchase any kind of cute shoes or pants she wants because her child is in a wheelchair, walks with a walker, walks with leg braces, walks with ankle braces, has a trach, or has a feeding tube.

--  The next time you spend too much money on things (or high-end models of things) that your child doesn't REALLY need, consider the child who finally got a wheelchair only because her mother happened to find a child's wheelchair at Goodwill.

--  The next time you spend an excessive amount of money on yourself instead of saving it, consider the parents who will be supporting and living with their disabled child for the rest of their lives.

I'm not hurling insults at anyone specific, just at our general inability to see beyond our own "problems."  Take note of the quotation marks.  I swear I'm not lashing out with this blog entry, but we all have days when perspective is very much needed.  Myself included.  So stop what you're doing RIGHT NOW and thank God for your blessings.  And be specific.

PS - I know that I have some baby weight to lose.  Now that ads are on my blog to raise money for wheels for Emma's mobile stander, I don't appreciate the Weight Watchers ads that pop up.  I don't need my blog to tell me to lose weight; I can see that for myself!  And now that I've referenced "Weight Watchers" and "lose weight," even more of those types of ads will show up.  What a vicious cycle it is.